The Perverted Mind Of Tony Stark
by Rothery
Summary: A series of one-shots about how perverted Tony can be when it comes to Pepper...
1. Cold

_**A/N: Just a bit of randomness about the perversion of Tonys mind...I'm sure Pepper has gone through far worse...Movie-verse, between one and two perhaps...**_

**_Rated T to be safe..though this one's relatively mild..._**

_**Disclaimer: not mine...**_

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"Tony" Virginia 'Pepper' Potts said in the utmost voice of professionalism, one hand balanced firmly on her hip, the other tightly clutching her blackberry.

She tapped her heel clad foot once...twice..."Tony!" she hissed, her teeth pressed together, her anger at being ignored by her boss slowly mounting.

She should've been used to it, but that still didn't stop her from wanting to throw her beloved blackberry at his head.

The foot tapping continued, one tap, two tap, three tap, "Tony!" she smiled sweetly, the subtle venomous undertone an indication of warning.

Her patience was slipping, _fast._

"_TONY!"_ her shrill cry made the almighty Ironman jump, his attention suddenly coming to rest on her face, her expression blank, "Will you _please _stop staring at my _breasts?_"

He seemed to consider his answer for a moment, knowing that from her tone of voice he was to choose his words carefully.

He gave her a simple shrug and let his eyes wonder back down to her chest, "Not my fault it's cold..." he said, a small yet perverted smile gracing his lips as he looked back up to her face, her nipples protruding nicely from under her blouse.

He lied; it totally was his fault that it was cold.

He held back a laugh as Pepper stormed out of the workshop and up the stairs, probably to hunt down the biggest woolly jumper she could find.

What a terrible shame it was that he'd thrown them all out that morning.

A terrible shame, for _her _anyway.

Today was going to be _fun!_

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_**A/N: I did say it was random, didn't I? I'm gunna leave this story open and produce a series of one-shots methinks, will have to think of more ideas though, anyways, hope you enjoyed it, and please review. Thanks...**_


	2. Noise

_**A/N: Ummm, yeah, this was an idea I had while making my bed...**_

_**Hope you enjoy it...**_

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It sounded like a second rate porno in the next room, and it was making her tummy turn.

Pepper had not seen Tony so much as flirt with a woman all night, but she shouldn't have doubted his abilities to grab hold of one last minute, and thanks to that small piece of doubt she was slowly regretting her choice of rooms which happened to be right next to his.

The noises they were making were disgusting and every few second or so the bed would come in contact with the wall making her cringe.

Was it just her or had they gotten louder all of a sudden?

Yup, they had definitely gotten louder, she groaned as she pulled a pillow over her head hoping to block out the noise with no such luck.

She would not be getting much sleep tonight.

Little did she know that a low rated porno _was _playing in the next room and with a remote in one hand that would every now and again change the volume settings and a shit eating grin plastered across his face, was Tony, like a hyper-active child, jumping on the bed.

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**_A/N: Sorry it's so short, the next chapter will be a little longer :) please review, thanks._**


	3. Sick

_**A/N: I've been sick for the last couple of days with a really bad cough, but I refused to take a day off work. My boyfriend ask me to go out for an evening and it was only then that I decided to say no and get some much need rest, he popped into see me, took one look at me and said, "So you are actually ill then?" and thus the chapter was born.**_

**_This happens maybe just before the first movie...or maybe just after the first...haven't decided :)_**

_**Enjoy...**_

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"So you really are sick then?" Tony asked as he stood at the foot of Pepper's bed.

She turned under the covers and attempted to sit up, though failing miserably, her head falling straight back against the pillow, confusion written all over her face.

"Mr. Stark?" she coughed, "What are you doing in my house, and why are you in my bedroom?" her voice sounded funny, almost as if she'd swallowed sand or gravel or something.

"I just came to check-up on you, you've never once been sick since you've been working for me and I thought you might be faking." He said with a shrug.

He walked about her bedroom, picking up various items, studying them and then putting them back down again, he picked up a picture frame and looked at her, "Boyfriend?" he asked, his eyebrows raised inquisitively.

"You thought I'd be faking?" she replied ignoring his attempt at digging into her personal life.

"You've never taken a day off Pep, and you're never ill, which I'm sure I just mentioned. So, boyfriend?" he held up the picture and waved it about in his hand.

She sniffled, "So you instantly assume I'm skiving off work, puh-lease, I'm not that low." She said, another bout of coughing followed, she grimaced, her chest and throat hurt something awful and the presence of her boss was not helping.

He nodded and then went back to the photo in his hands, he was not about to let up digging into her personal life anytime soon, _stubborn bastard_, so she answered him, "No, actually," she said making a quick reach for the frame, instantly regretting it as Tony moved it out of her reach, her body fell flat on top of bed, her head pounding in protest.

He leaned towards her, raising one manicured 'brow, "Then who?"

She sneezed and Tony took a hasty step back, "My dad." Tony took another look at the picture, inspecting it closely; the man had strawberry blond hair, and blue eyes, much like Pepper traits (which he thought she would've gotten from her mother), and looked very much like the bookworm. A professor perhaps...?

He put the photo down and shoved his hands in his pockets, "Since I'm here and all, maybe I could help make you feel better."

She looked at him blankly, "How?"

He smiled crudely and she suddenly wished she hadn't asked, "I could rub lotion on you, in all those _hard_ to reach places."

She groaned and covered her head with her duvet, yelling at him to "_Get out!"_ and coughing in between, while all he could do was laugh.

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_**A/N: I know in the second movie Tony rudely commented to Pepper that she should wear a mask in his presence when ill, but I reckon thats because he was dying of palladium poisoning , anyway thanks for reading, and please review because reviews make me happy...**_


	4. Rubber

_**A/N: It's my birthday today and since you've all been greatly supportive of my ficlets I thought I'd give you guys a present :)**_

_**So enjoy...**_

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Pepper punched in her access code for the workshop and made her way over to Tony who was sat on a swivel chair looking at fresh update for the 'Ironman' armour at the holographic station.

He did not acknowledge her presence, at least not straight away, his ears picking up the click of a coffee cup meeting metal, and the distinct sound of her heels clapping away on the concrete as she came towards him.

He turned in the chair to face her, "Look on the counter." He said as she came to halt a mere three feet in front of him, she frowned but took the time to direct her attention to many of the countertops he had down here. He pointed to the one directly behind her, "That one."

That's when she saw it the beautifully decorated box which a neat peach coloured ribbon, it wasn't all that big she noted as she picked it up and studied it.

"Happy birthday!" he said with a smile, she took her eyes off the box and looked at him, he was still sat in his chair, hair playfully failing over his brow, arms folded over his chest.

"You...remembered? But you never remember." She said with a shake of her head, her mind trying to piece together how he would've remembered this year and not any of the others but she couldn't.

He sighed and slumped slightly in his chair, "Well it's not like I'm able to forget Pep, it was the day before I-" he couldn't finish the sentence, the vulnerability playing over his face made her close her eyes, _idiot _she chided herself, unlike him, she been quick to lock that part of last year away.

"You gunna open it, or are you just going to stand there all day?" she was glad at that moment for his ability to be quick to change subjects, even if the amused impatient tone of his voice didn't quite match the slightly pained expression residing on his face.

She pursed her lips at him, but undid the ribbon anyhow and took off the lid, her face blank as she looked at the item inside, she looked over at him through the corner of her eye, one 'brow raising as she took out the gift holding it between her fingers at the base.

He was smiling in a way she couldn't decipher, he was up to something, "I know it's not much but-"

"It's a rubber duck." She commented with a flat tone, it wasn't even yellow, it was pink, a bright fluorescent pink and he somehow expected her to put it in her bathroom.

"I said it wasn't much." he said raising his hands in mock surrender, before bringing his finger tips together to steeple his hands under his chin, a serious expression overcoming his face.

It was slightly heavier than a regular rubber duck, she noted, and as she held it up into the artificial light of the workshop one of its eyes glinted almost as if it was winking at her, she narrowed her eyes and inspected it closely.

She choked, "Is-is that a camera?"

"I refuse to answer that with a dignified response!" he replied as he swiftly got out of his chair and quickly made his way to the glass door.

"_TONY!" _Pepper cried as she chased him, a futile attempt on her part thanks to the four inched heels that were currently decorating her feet, so she opted to instead, once gaining a clear view of her target, throw the pink - _PINK!_ - duck at him, smiling proudly as she heard it connect smartly with his head.

Maybe next year he'd forgo the camera duck and buy her a ring instead, at least that way it'd hurt less when she discovered the hidden camera.

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_**A/N: My boyfriend helped me tremendously with the last line, so I can't take all the credit for its awesomeness. Please review and thanks for reading...**_


	5. Pepper

_**A/N: This chapter is rather experimental, it's based on the structure of your basic childrens book...'see Jane, see Jane run...' I dont really know why though. **_

_**A**_**_nyways hope you enjoy it :)_**

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Tony likes Pepper.

Pepper likes Tony.

Today Pepper is red.

Why is Pepper red?

Is it because Pepper is blushing?

Is it because Pepper is frustrated?

Or is Pepper just _mad_ at Tony?

Tony isn't sure.

Tony wants to _bite_ into Pepper's blushing flesh.

Tony wants to run his tongue _all over_ Pepper.

Tony wants to inhale Peppers sweet scent.

Pepper is worried.

Pepper does not want Tony to_ bite_ her.

Pepper does not want to be licked _or_ smelt by Tony.

Pepper wants to wait.

Pepper wants to see if any other opportunities pass her way.

Tony objects!

Tony is possessive of Pepper.

Tony _does not_ want to share.

Tony looks at Pepper lustfully.

Pepper blushes.

Pepper is now _very_ red.

Tony picks up Pepper and sets her down on the kitchen counter.

Tony looks at his _green_ salad.

It is plain.

_Boring._

Tony raises a _knife_ to Pepper.

Pepper is in pieces.

Tony carefully arranges Pepper on his plate.

Tony eats Pepper.

Tony realises he cannot go a day _without_ Pepper.

Of any sort!

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**_A/N: The 'Pepper' in this story is actually a red bell pepper and not Pepper Potts just incase you're wondering lol :)...Please review :) and thanks for reading..._**


	6. Skirt

_**A/N: I'm gunna post the next chapter now because I probably won't get a chance to do so tomorrow like I'd planned as I'm going to be really busy, so here you go...**_

_**Enjoy.**_

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The timing had to be perfect, everything that was about to happen in the next five or so minutes had to be perfect.

On account of the small tracking device Tony had implanted into Peppers blackberry, he knew exactly where she was and when, and Jarvis, thanks to his instalment in the HUD, was currently giving him updates of his lovely assistants whereabouts every half a minute.

His eyes darted to the small digital timer in the corner of his helmet just as Jarvis was told him that _'Miss Potts will be stepping out the building in ten...nine...' _

She had a lunch date, and not that it was any of his business but no it was not with anyone important, just a couple of old friends who were visiting for a few days one of which just happened to be a _ex-boyfriend_, that little piece of information had really ticked him off, not that they were dating or anything...

He turned the suit around just as Jarvis's cool English voice counted down past the number six facing the entrance of Stark Industries, powering up the speed by ten percent, which, he did the calculations in his head, should have him _flying_ past her in the exact moment that his dear old Pepper would step out onto the curb.

So far so good, he thought as he came closer to his target, he smirked into the HUD when he spotted her, angling his body slightly so he wouldn't scrap along the ground, but like all his good plans something always went amiss and this one was no different.

Pepper was wearing trousers.

Trousers? _Trousers?_ Where the hell was her skirt? The one he was sure she'd been wearing all morning, the wavy skirt that with just the right gust of wind would've sent _skyward;_ the skirt that had him think of this dastardly plan to begin with?

Paying more attention to Peppers lack of skirt than on where he was going the invincible Iron Man clipped the pavement, lost his balance and rather ungracefully rolled over himself into a nice concrete wall.

Pigeons flew away at the sound of the large metal _clang_ that the suit made as Tony's helmeted head hit the tarmac, he lay there for a few seconds slightly disorientated.

"Ow-_iee_." He cried as sharp tinges of pain coursed through his body, he flipped back the front of his helmet only to find Pepper peering over his crumpled form, foot tapping rhythmically, hands on hips, eyebrows raised.

"Care to explain?" Pepper said, her voice totally void of any sympathy.

'_I was just trying to steal a look at your panties in new and exciting ways..._' it was probably better to lie, he thought and so instead of telling her the truth, shrugged as much as his cripple body would allow as simply muttered, "Not really, no, I'm good."

Pepper frowned, but with an exasperated sigh turned on her heel and left him in a crumpled heap of metal limbs.

Maybe next time he'd stick to looking down her top, there were fewer bruises that way.

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_**A/N: One way in which Tony Stark could and probably would use the Ironman suit for his own personal consumption. Hope you enjoyed it and please review... **_


	7. Hobbits

_****_

A/N: I got the idea for this story from watching this video too many times :) you don't really need to watch it but heres the link anyways http: / www . youtube . com / watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY just delete the spaces...

**_Enjoy :)_**

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"Miss Potts, Mr Stark is on line one." Pepper raised her head at the sound of her secretary's voice; a woman who was a little older than Pepper herself and an absolute Godsend.

"Hmmm? Oh, okay, thank you Bambi." Pepper smiled at her secretary and picked up the phone, pressing the red flashing button that took Tonys call off hold, and held it up to her ear, wondering why her boss hadn't just phoned her blackberry.

"Pepper?" she heard Tony ask, probably to make sure he sin fact talking to her and not still talking to Bambi.

"Yes Mr. Stark?" she answered sweetly, wondering for the second time why he didn't just call her blackberry.

"Tell me, where is Gandalf?" he asked inquisitively, Pepper remained silent and was somewhat confused, "for I much desire to speak with him." he finished, his voice masking the amusement he felt, though Pepper was sure she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Excuse me? Who? Tony I don't...Wha-!" but before she could finish her sentence, incoherent as it was, he hung up and all she was left with was bewilderment and the dial tone furiously ringing in her ear. She pulled the phone away and looked at it offensively.

With her brow knitted together, Pepper went back to signing papers, wondering why in hell her boss wanted her to contact Gandalf, who, as far as she knew, did not exist, at least not as a member of this company.

She shook her head and tried to remove her boss's latest eccentricity from her mind, before finally giving in and searching for the mysterious Gandalf.

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It was nearing the end of the day, and Pepper was near giving up on work for the day, she saved and closed the last file she had been working on, on Tonys behalf, and proceeded to shut down her computer.

She grabbed her coat from the back of her chair and slung it over her arm, grabbing her purse from under her desk and slowly making her way to the door of her office.

She hadn't even made it to the door when it swung wide open, and there was Tony standing a little too close, looking slightly dishevelled and rather out of breath. She frowned at him and cocked her head to the side.

"They're taking the hobbits to isengard!" he cried panic stricken, she moved her head back, trying to create distance and prepared to ask him what on earth he was on about but before she even opened her mouth, Tony was gone, practically flying out of the room.

This left a rather dumbfounded Pepper, who had never so much as heard of the Lord of the Rings in her entire life, was now fearing for her boss's sanity.

She really needed to get out more.

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_**A/N: I figured that being Tony Starks assistant, Pepper wouldn't really have time to read long books like the Lord of th Rings trilogy let alone have time to watch the films, I also doubt she's into that kind of genre, anyways...Hope you l enjoyed it, thanks for reading, and please review :)**_


	8. Photo

_**A/N: This is set before the movies, sometime during Peppers second, maybe third year of being Tony's assistant...**_

**_Hope you enjoy..._**

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They were sniggering at her.

Every male and female employee she past as she made her way to her office at Stark Industries went quiet until they thought she was out of ear shot, their crude remarks the only noises to her ears. Some of them barely had the chance to cover their mouths before erupting into laughter and she wondered what vicious rumour had been spread this time.

Was she, once again, supposedly in some sort of secret sexual relationship with Tony Stark? Was she pregnant with his child? Had he fired her because she wouldn't sleep with him? Or had he fired her because she had?

Pepper had heard them all before and wondered what privy information about her had gotten every single Stark employees hyped up. She narrowed her eyes as she stepped out of the elevator and onto her floor; time seemed to stand still as everyone in her perspective view came to a halt.

It was unnerving.

She took a deep breath when she closed her office door, shutting out the strange behaviour of her co-workers, and moved slowly to her desk where she booted up her computer and opened up a copy of Mr. Starks schedule for the next week and loaded up her e-mail.

She had a few new messages in her inbox, mostly junk, she noted, high-lighting them all and deleting them without a second thought, there were a few from employees asking Mr. Stark for extension times on their projects while others were notifying her that they'd finished and would very much Mr. Stark to '_come take a look'_

She was just about to delete another batch when one subject title caught her eye '_**Pepper Goes Potty!'**_ it read in bold and italics, and had been forwarded to every single employee of Stark Ind.

_Bold and italics.._? Subject headers couldn't be printed in bold and italics, could they?

Her hand froze over the mouse as she thought about whether or not she should spare herself and just delete it, but despite herself she double clicked and waited nervously.

Her stomach dropped and suddenly felt as if she could cry because there sitting on her screen was an old baby photo of her at the age of about two, an upside down book in her hands as she sat on a yellow plastic potty, _naked!_

It was a photo out of her mother's collection of 'favourites', a photo her mother _refused _to show anyone including past boyfriends, a photo so incriminating that only one man would dare go behind her back and charm her mother enough for her to give it to him.

Her days schedule took a drastic turn, her first and only priority for the day and possibly the next few weeks: _killing Tony Stark!_

The _bastard_ wouldn't know what hit him!

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_**A/N: This has never happened to me as far as I'm aware :S, but the showing of embarrassing baby photo's to friends or boy-friends must be horrible. Thanks you for reading and please review :)**_


	9. Sense

_**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, hope you enjoy it all the same though :)**_

**_It takes place before the first movie._**

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They'd been talking about her most recent ex-boyfriend for the last hour or rather, he'd been asking her questions and she'd been dutifully avoiding answering them. It was not a fun game, not for her anyway, and to top it all off, she desperately needed to pee and having Tony follow her around like one of those little annoying yappy dogs did not make going to the bathroom easy.

She turned sharp on her heel when she realized he would, without a doubt, follow her into the ladies toilets, she stared at him, her hands on her hips, "If you have _any _sense," she hissed, "then you will _not _follow me into the bathroom!" she huffed, and hurriedly made her way inside.

It was unlucky for her that he didn't have any sense and after a few minutes of standing idly in the hall opened the bathroom door and stepped inside.

No other stalls were taken except the last, and he smiled to himself when he saw the ledge that ran across the bottom of the wall, _that would make climbing over a little easier_, he thought.

He strode over purposefully and with one leg on the ledge and two hands gripping the top of the door, he hoisted himself up, how Pepper didn't notice was beyond him.

He caught a glimpse of her dark blue panties as his head came above the door and without a second thought asked, "Was he good in bed?"

He took her piercing scream as a no.

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**_A/N: Thank you or reading and please review :)_**


	10. Beer

_**A/N: I'm English, so I have little knowledge of the Superbowl and when it occurs, so if I've got it wrong please feel free to let me know...other that that I hope you enjoy :)**_

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The last job that Tony had asked her to do before clocking off as his assistant for the day had been to retrieve the beers which were supposedly on the middle shelf in the fridge hidden behind all of the '_green crap'_ she insisted on buying.

It was true to say that Tony usually didn't indulge in what he often referred to as _'the poor man's drink'_ thanks to his love of the finer things and to the fact that he could afford them. But then once every year, with Rhodey, and sometimes Pepper depending on her plans, he would give up on the something-year-old scotch and be contented to just sit back and drink beer like the average America Joe and watch the Super bowl.

And so that left her here rummaging through the fridge trying to locate beers that were probably left-over's from last year and clearly _not _there.

Pepper was about to give up on her quest for the alcoholic beverage that was so _desperately_ vital for the game when she noticed heat radiating behind her, her eyes wide as she realized that her boss, at least for the next five minutes or so, was standing right behind her, dangerously invading her personal space.

"How long does it take you to find a few beers Pep?" he asked, before pressing himself against her backside, she gave a small squeak as a hand feel neatly on her waist, the other slowly brushing past her head and knocking food items around on the top shelf.

Tony reached deeper into the fridge, pressing himself even closer against her, forcing her to fall further forward into the cold, _very cold_, kitchen appliance.

Her face burnt and her eyes were wide, she could feel ever inch of him from the waist down, and it was _fantastic_, her face flushed even more when she heard footsteps enter into the kitchen and a very startled yet highly amused gasp coming from Col. James Rhodes.

"Whoa, sorry...am I interrupting? 'Cause I can leave end maybe come back later when you're done." He threw a thumb over his shoulder indicating to the door, he knew Pepper was probably frowning at him into the fridge, his eyes shone with amusement.

"Nope, you're not interrupting," Tony said in a matter-of-fact tone, the sound of bottles clattering together sounding in her ears, "'Side's if we were doing something, don't you think I'd have Jarvis lock you out?" he moved away from her and placed the beers on the counter and pulled one from the box, twisting the cap off before throwing it on to the aluminium surface.

She stood up and straightened out her skirt, shooting evil glances between the two men who seemed to be laughing at her expense.

Tony had made her flustered, and they were enjoying every _minute_ of it.

Pepper looked at her boss and scowled at him, he held up his hands in the typical 'wasn't me' fashion and stared at her, "_What!"_ he cried, a smirk tainting his lips, a smirk she desperately wanted to wipe off his face.

She thrust her chin high in the air, hissing '_I hate you'_ as she grabbed a beer and sauntered out of the room, no doubt planting herself in the best seat ready for the big game.

The two men looked at each other and laughed, "You are one _crafty_ bastard." Rhodes said pointing a finger at him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Platypus..." Tony said pulling another beer from the container and handing it to Rhodes.

"Uh, yes you do, you _totally_ planned that," he said hitting Tonys upper arm, Tony feigned pain and took a swig of his beer, smirking around its neck, "Pervert."

"You wouldn't have me any other way." He said in a friendly tone, slapping Rhodey on the back, the other man laughed knowing that Tony was right, flustering Pepper Potts was fun, and no-one could do it better than Tony.

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_**A/N: Thanks for reading and please review :D**_


	11. Time

_**A/N: This story takes place between the two movies...**_

**_Enjoy :)_**

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"Tony what are you doing?" Pepper asked as she strolled into the workshop to find Tony squatting next to some shower capsule thingy that reminded her of the device on that old horror film 'The Fly'; she shuddered as the image of Tony turning into a Flyman crossed her mind.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked as he stood back up and wiped his greasy hands on an old oily rag.

"It looks like your wrecking you best T-shirt." Pepper replied, indicating to the now stained Hugo Boss T he wore. She only considered it his best shirt because it was her favourite; it showed of the muscles in his chest so very nicely indeed, Tony didn't know this of course...

"Well that's where you're wrong; I'm building a time machine." He said with the biggest grin he could muster.

"..." She looked at him blankly; _did he just say what I thought he said?_

"Aren't you going to ask me why?" he whined, upset that she wasn't giving him the ego boost he so desperately craved.

"Tony, why are you building a time machine?" she asked in a dead pan tone, not at all interesting in his time machine, but more focused on how to get grease out of a cotton shirt.

"To go back in time, duh!" She did not look impressed, insulted was more like it.

"_Tony!"_ she said in an exasperated tone.

"To see you naked...?" He watched as her nostrils flared and knew that he had given a definite wrong answer, he cowered slightly.

"Ugh! Right that's it, I've had enough, I'm leaving. Goodbye Tony." She yelled as she stormed out of workshop, he could hear her car as it receded down the drive, the tires screeching along the asphalt.

"_Meh_! I'll go back in time and fix that later...but now for more important things." He said rubbing his hands together, much like all the mad scientists before him_._ He pulled a switch and watched as electricity surged down the sides of the machine, he stepped into capsule without a second thought. He punched in the year and day he wanted to go back too, 2008_, _the day of the fire fighters benefit, and this time he would not leave Pepper standing alone on the balcony.

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**_A/N: I'm sure Tony would do some cazier stuff if he did have a time machine, but between the movies, I think this would be a priority; 'If I were Iron Man, I'd have this girlfriend...' and so on..._**

**_Thank you for reading and please review :)_**


	12. Dance

**_A/N: I know this chapter is extremly short, so think of it like an intermission. I'm going to Ireland early saturday morning and won't be able to post anything for a week, so I'm going to post a chapter today, friday and possible saturday if I have time to do so._**

**_Sorry again for it being so short, I hope you like it anyway :)_**

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It had been a relatively nice evening, Pepper thought as she held onto her boss's shoulder as they danced; she'd even remembered to wear deodorant this time and she had to admit that Tony had been rather charming.

"Unlike the last time we danced, can we actually make-out on the balcony?"

Pepper Potts untangled herself from her boss embrace and without looking back she walked away from her boss and out of the ballroom.

She did not come back.

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_**A/N: Thank you for reading and please review :)**_


	13. Naked

_**A/N: This is the last chapter I'm gunna be able to upload before my holiday, so I hope you all enjoy. I might have to up the rating to M for this chapter :/we'll see...There's not much say really except good plans do eventually turn bad especially if you're Tony Stark.**_

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He thought this was supposed to have been a normal Board of Directors meeting, and yet there was Pepper prancing around completely nude.

Okay so she wasn't prancing, and she wasn't really naked, but that didn't stop him from envisioning her naked.

Everything she did, she did in her birthday suit.

When she indicated to the projector with that extendable metal poking device, she did it naked, when she collapsed the thing between her palms she was naked and when she bent down to retrieve it when it slipped through her fingers, he saw her do it: _naked_.

Naked! Naked! _Naked_!

Well, naked except for the red stilettos she came to work in, the rest of the outfit: the black dress, the rather large red belt (to match the shoes of course), and the white jacket all gone.

He watched her intently as she came and sat down in the chair a few seats down from his and over the other side of the table and he saw the way her breasts jiggled, that is, had she not been wearing a bra. He could even pin point the exact location of the small mole that hide on the underside of her left breast.

His pants became very restricted.

He so very slowly grabbed his phone and placed both hands in his lap, looking at the members of the board to make sure their attention was drawn to anything but him, this included Pepper, who merely frowned at him, but shook her head anyways and went back to listening to whoever it was now talking.

_God_, these things were _bor-ing._

Acting as if he was playing with his phone, he pressed a hand down onto his zipper, the pressure a small relief, his eyes shot up as Pepper's hand reached across the table and took a hold of the water jug, she slowly poured herself a glass of water.

He almost groaned as he watched her drink it, had he really become so sex deprived that he was imagining his P.A. naked? He pressed his hand down onto his crotch.

_Nope_, that wasn't it.

The lack of sex was all thanks to the light box in his chest; it was a severe knock down on the ego, besides if Pepper was disgusted by it, which she had been at first, then surely all other women would be the same, but that definitely wasn't enough to picture Pepper naked.

If it was then surely, during his three months of captivity, he would have imagined Yinsen naked, that thought alone made some of the pressure in his dick dissipate.

_Damn Pepper, and damn her hotness! _He thought bitterly.

It wasn't until she said his name that he blew, "Mr. Stark." her voice sweet and innocently professional.

He whined, much like a five year old being told no when asking for a new toy, trying to cover it with a cough as he slumped forward on the table, his head resting in the crook of his arm.

He turned his head in his arm to face the occupants of the table, until his eyes met Peppers, she was, _thank God_, no longer naked, but she did seem to want him to address the group about something...

She rolled her eyes, and with a "Never mind." thanked the members of the board for their time and saw them out.

It wasn't until they were alone that she decided to unload all her frustrations out onto him, reprimanding him like a child.

He sulked like one too, and although he didn't totally regret it, he did find himself wishing that he'd never had Jarvis create a video feed of Pepper taking a shower, because as fun as it had been yesterday it had caused him nothing but trouble today.

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_**A/N: Thank you for reading and please review :)**_


	14. Pen

_**A/N: I'm back :) yay! Hopefully you're all still interesting in continuing with this story so here's another chapter, enjoy.**_

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The pen on her desk was missing as were the stash of pens she kept in her bottom draw of her desk.

Bambi, Peppers secretary, could not find any of hers either.

The store closet was too without pens, which begged questioning as she was sure it had been stocked full of them yesterday.

What's more, her favourite, beautifully engraved fountain pen that her father had brought her as a _'congratulations on your new job'_ gift seemed to have disappeared into thin air, otherwise it had somehow sprouted legs and gone for a walk, which was of course, deemed impossible.

'_It's rather peculiar_,' Pepper thought '_that every single pen on this floor has simply vanished.'_

She'd gone as far as pulling up yesterdays and today's security footage, with no luck, the grainy image showing no hint of a pen thief.

Without pen, Pepper could not finish off or sign any of the most recent and slightly more important paperwork that over the last few hours, (in which she had spent pen hunting), had piled up.

This was getting ridiculous.

With a frustrated sigh, she stood from her desk and headed for Tonys office.

She didn't knock.

Tony looked up as she briskly entered the room, hands on her hips, "Miss Potts," he smiled pleasantly at her, "What can I help you with?"

"Do you have a pen, Mr Stark?" she asked her eyes watching his every move like a hawk.

He patted himself down and shook his head, "Nope, sorry, someone must've borrowed it. Why? Can't you find one?"

"No" she said in a dead pan tone, "I can't, no one can!" she replied bitterly.

"Okay, well then, will that be all Miss Potts?" he said, the corner of his lips twitching slightly.

"That will be all, Mr Stark." she replied, giving him a tight smile and a small nod before leaving the room. She was positive that she'd heard the sound of childish laughter follow after her as she closed the door and headed back to her office, feeling ever so slightly confused.

What she did not expect to find on entering her office was the miniature representation of the Stark mansion made entirely from the pens she had been searching for all morning, how it got there, she didn't know.

Pepper fumed, the _bastard_ had even added his own little flag that read '_Tony Stark is awesome!', _made out of her fountain pen, the engravement of _'Virginia Potts' _had been followed by another piece of paper, that had been carefully glued against the side, it read _'is not'._

She clenched and unclenched her fists before storming back into her boss's office, _**"Tony!"**_

Pepper refused her right to remain silent.

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_**A/N: Only six more chapters to go :) thanks for reading and please review..**_


	15. Ghost

**_A/N: I don't know when I'll be able to upload the next chapter because I'm re-decorating my soon to be new room this week, and the internet server currently lives in there, which mean's at some point I'll have to turn it off to paint and move al of my junk in...I'll try to upload as soon as I can though :)_**

**_Hope this chapter will suffice for now..._**

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He tried his damned hardest to remain silent as he crouched behind the back of the cream coloured couch, a smile playing on his lips.

He'd been there for a while now actually, simply waiting for Pepper to occupy one of the cushioned seats, containing the giggles that rose from his chest as he heard her footsteps approach.

He heard the clink of a coffee mug as she set one down on the tree-stump table that centred the room.

He took a deep breath and stood, quite quickly, from his hiding place, "Hey Pep!" he said energetically, a smile spread wide on his face, one that his personal assistant could not see.

Her eyes went wide and her face scrunched up as she screamed from the shock, she jumped back and proceeded to fall over the table, until she landed on her backside, she closed her eyes and counted to ten, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

She had not expected her boss to jump out on her when coming to work that morning especially while wearing a white sheet pulled over his head, much like a home-made ghost costume, the badly cut out eye holes included.

"Pep?" he asked as he lent over the top of the couch to see if she was okay.

"_I quit."_ she replied, in a calm voice despite the fact that her heart was still beating a hundred miles a minute.

"No you don't."

No she didn't.

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**_A/N: Thanks for reading and please review :)_**


	16. Morning

_**A/N: Here's another chapter, I hope you guys enjoy :) **_

_**Set between the first and second film**_

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Her head hurt and the fact that the sun was blaring in through open curtains was _not_ helping. She flinched, now blinded thanks to said sun, as a wave of nausea rolled through her system.

Pepper did not feel well at all, she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a hangover quite like this, and it didn't help that half of last night was missing from her memory.

She remembered that she'd been at a party, the Stark Industries Annual Christmas Bash, all employees of Stark Ind. had been invited, and the majority had turned up, Tony included. She'd been talking to Sarah from accounting for most of the evening and some very attractive yet highly annoying man had kept a steady supply of drinks coming her way.

She may have danced at some point with said guy but that area was a little fuzzy, she did however clearly remember kissing Sarah, outside of the ladies bathroom, under the mistletoe that had been hung over the toilets doors, and it was after all tradition.

She did not remember anything after that especially how she'd gotten home.

And arm, seemingly from out of nowhere, snaked its way around her stomach, a hand coming to rest just under her navel, pulling her backwards, she squealed, her body tensing, praying to god that it wasn't Robert..._Robert, or course, that's what his name was, _Pepper thought as she remembered the drinks guy's name. It definitely wasn't Sarah from accounting, she mused, the hands were too rough, and callus to be female.

She then noticed something odd pressing between her shoulder blades, it was hard and cold, the corners digging into her flesh would no doubt be leaving imprints, but that wasn't all, the what-ever-it-was was humming, sending light vibrations over her skin.

Her eyes widened in shock, "_Oh my God_!" she yelped, before covering her mouth with her hands_, shit, shit, shit!_ Her boss was in her bed! This was not good.

She closed her eyes tightly and tried to control her breathing, as she pretended to be asleep, the way his hand travelled further down her stomach was not helping.

She felt his lips trail kisses across her shoulder blade and tried her damn hardest not to move into the touch, "Mornin'," He said, his breath whispering along the shell of her ear, he chuckled lightly, "stop pretending to be asleep Pep, you're a terrible actress."

She let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding, "What are you doing in my bed?" she asked, her voice quiet, not trusting herself completely to speak in anything other than a whisper.

"_Your _bed?" he asked incredulously, "last time I checked, this was _my_ bed..."

"What!" she jumped out of his embrace and out of the bed, turning sharply to look at him, shock written all over her face, her eyes were wide and her cheeks red.

He took the time to give her the once over, his eyes trailing languidly over her body, starting at her toes and ending at her face.

"I can't believe that I-that you," she pointed a finger at him, "that we...Stupid, stupid_, stupid_!" she whined and ran her hands through her hair.

"That's not what you were saying last night." He said with a teasing smile.

Her face fell, _"Oh God!" _she cried pacing the room as she remembered how she'd begged Tony to take her home before kissing him, she did not however take the time to realize that she was still wearing last night's underwear, and that the dress she'd worn last night had been folded and neatly placed on the chair to her left.

"Now that's more like it!" he said energetically, his face a light with typical male amusement.

"Oh _God!_" she cried again as she noticed her dress for the first time, she picked it up, and stormed out of the room, leaving a highly amused Tony Stark behind.

Had she taken a few more minutes in the room, Tony was sure she would've noticed the sick bucket that sat idly by the side of the head of the bed, and the rustled blankets and pillows that lay half way across the room, his make shift bed for the night.

He'd taken exceptional care of her last night, so it was only fair that he got dibs on waking her up in the morning, and what a fantastic wake-up it had been.

At least he thought so, Pepper on the other hand...not so much.

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**_A/N: Will Pepper drink again? probably not :) thanks for reading and please review..._**


	17. Wet

**_A/N: Inspired after an epic water fight between friends, other than that there's not really much I can say about this chapter so enjoy :)_**

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Virginia 'Pepper' Potts didn't know what hit her.

_No really,_ she didn't.

But what she did know was that she was now soaking wet, more at the head than at the toe, and it wasn't pleasant.

She'd walked up to the front door of the Stark mansion just like she did every day and upon turning her key into the lock; she'd heard a cracking _splat_ and water had simply been everywhere.

Her hair had fallen out of its perfect ponytail and was now sticking along the contours of her face, and the pristine clothes she wore were crinkled and soaking wet, clinging to her like a second skin.

She tensed, trying to work her mind around what had just happened, her eyes travelling to the ground. That's when she noticed the balloon, except it wasn't a balloon; it was a..._Oh God!_

She fumed, it was Tony's brand, and she'd seen many of the same things lying around his room from time to time, she growled and stormed inside, ignoring her boss's innocent face as she past him on the stairs, she could feel his eyes roaming over her.

He had Pepper wet, just like he'd always wanted her.

The help from a condom goes along way.

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**_A/N: Thank you for reading, hope it was okay...and please review :)_**


	18. Cereal

_**A/N: In a galaxy far, far away...LOl, not really...just another chapter, here we have my first drunken Tony characterisation...also, the only American cereal I know is Friut Loops as I'm English so I apologise for the lack of imaginitive breakfast-ness...if that make sense...**_

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She'd skipped breakfast, and it was only now, two hours after arriving at the Stark mansion, that her stomach decided to make its-self known.

It grumbled,_ loudly_.

She sighed and headed over to the kitchen in search of food, hoping Tony had taken her advice and brought something edible rather than those candy cereals he liked to pack his cupboards with.

_No such luck_, she thought as she rummaged through the boxes, trying to find the one with the least sugar, before finally setting on a bowl of Fruit Loops.

She poured herself a decent sized bowl, rather than making a mountain out of the stuff like Tony preferred to do, and added milk. Sometimes she wondered why he even used a bowl.

She practically shoved her first spoonful of cereal into her mouth; she could practically _feel_ her teeth rotting already.

It wasn't long before Tony sauntered into the room, much earlier than usual, swaying slightly on his feet; he walked around to the other side of the counter and rested his elbows on the cool surface, his eyes boring into hers, he fell forward a little bit, holding his head in the palms of his hands.

He was _drunk_, this Pepper knew, not only because he smelt heavily of alcohol, but by the way his eyes were glassed over. It may have been ten in the morning, but this was _Tony Stark_, the alcoholic, playboy billionaire, there was never a day when he _didn't_ wake up drunk or hung-over.

He tipped is head to the side and studied her, "You_ liiiike_ me," he practically sang to her with a lopsided grin as he lent further forward onto the kitchen counter, "You _loooove_ me..."

Pepper blushed not able to say anything, yes her boss was extremely drunk, but even in such a state he was still pretty perceptive of these things, his smile grew wider and she knew he'd taken her silence as a yes.

They were quiet for a moment, simply staring at each other, he soon leaned in and her eyelids half closed, expecting him to kiss her.

What she _did not_ expect was the sudden disappearance of her boss's face that, which seconds ago, had been millimetres from hers as it, with a wet _plop_, fell like a dead weight into her bowl of Fruit Loops.

Bubbles came from the bowl with every breath he took; she sat there doe eyed, her heart beating frantically in her chest, a single Fruit Loop falling from her chest and onto the counter with a soggy splat.

She looked down at her boss, who was slowly drowning in her cereal, and shook her head; she was _always_ telling him that these sugary foods he insisted on eating would be the death of him; turns out she was right _yet _again.

He wouldn't survive five minutes without her let alone a _week!_

_**A/N: Thanks for reading and please review :)**_


	19. Phone

_**A/N: Only one more chapter to go until I tick the completed box :(**_

**_In college, when one of my friends would get a phone call the rest of us wold answer him/her as if we were the other person on the line, if that makes sense, I figured Tony might've done it to Pepper once or twice during one of her many phone calls..._**

**_The italics are where Tony is basically talking to himself..._**

**_Please enjoy._**

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Her phone was ringing, though this was not uncommon, the unfamiliar ringtone was, Tony was pretty sure he'd changed them all to match his musical preferences such as AC/DC or Metallica only last night. Surely she couldn't have changed them all back?

The old classic seemed to prove him wrong, none the less he picked up the phone, his thumb perched over the answer button ready to take the call for her, that is he would have had she not snatched the phone out of his hands last minute, the click of said button sounding in his ears.

"Hey." Pepper said to the receiver of the call.

"_Hello to you to Pep."_ Tony answered playfully from his place on the couch.

"How are you?" Pepper asked ignoring her boss with a roll of her eye; she turned her back to him and considered sticking her finger in her ear.

"_I'm good thanks, and you?"_ Tony proceeded his one sided conversation with his assistant, he idly picked up the remote and fiddled with it, not daring to turn on the T.V. scared that Pepper might jab him with her heel, he was rather surprised that she hadn't done so already.

"Yeah, I'm okay, can't complain really," she giggled and behind her Tony pulled a face, "Really?"

"_Yes really!"_ Tony replied, tuning his voice up a notch, as he pulled the back of the remote off only to put it on again.

"Well, that's really good news, isn't it?" Tony dared a glance in Pepper's direction; he barely caught onto the slight worry in her voice.

"_Of course it's good news_," Tony said, "_me being_ _Iron Man and all, what could be better news?"_ he asked her, totally forgetting she was on the phone, she answered him with a slap to the head, _"Ow!"_ he was about to ask her what that was for but upon seeing her stern expression he decided against it.

"Okay, goodbye _Mom_." She practically hissed into the phone, more for his benefit than anyone else.

"_Bye."_ He said; he even gave her a little wave.

"You're a jerk you know that?" Pepper said as she threw her phone down onto the couch cushions.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do, I also know that you just wasted valuable work time for a _personal _call, which is very unprofessional, Miss Potts." He said flatly as he pointed a finger in her direction.

She looked at him blankly, "One of these days you're going to wake up with my hands around your throat." Her smile may have seemed sweet but her tone was deadly.

"I look forward to the day Miss Potts, because that will be the day I have my hand up you skirt."

She threw a pillow at his face, before she walked past him with a regal air about, "I won't be wearing a skirt."

"If it was up to me you wouldn't be wearing anything..."

_Well, maybe just the heels..._

**_A/N: I wont be able to upload the final chapter until some time next week, probably wednesday as I'm away at my cousins and they have no internet what-so-ever as they live in the middle of nowhere...thank you for reading and please review :)_**


	20. Prank

_**A/N: This will be the last instalment for this fic, for all of those who reviewed thank you so much, you guys are the reason I kept trying to think of new thing's Tony could and would do to get Pepper riled up, I also want to thank everybody who took the time to read these little one shots.**_

_**My boyfriend requested a chapter in which Pepper get's her own-back which I thought would be great for a last chapter, I couldn't think of anything so I've used an idea from an episode of 'Friends' the one in which Rachel and Ben bond over practical jokes...**_

_**I hope you enjoy reading it...**_

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"Good morning, Mr Stark." Pepper greeted her boss as he came into her in-home office, she turned away from her laptop and dared a look in his direction, if looks could kill she would _definitely_ be dead.

"Nononononono!" he said pointing a finger at her, he did not look happy, "don't you dare Mr Stark me, you – you evil, mean, cruel, heartless, evil _woman!" _he hissed, his hair seeming to become more frayed with every move of his head, he looked rather insane, more so than usual.

Pepper raised a 'brow at him, no longer able to contain the sly smirk that made its way upon her lips, "I have no idea what you're talking about Tony," she said in an air of professional calm, "and by the way you said evil twice." She picked up her coffee mug and took a sip, trying to cover the ever growing smile.

"Oh, _really?_ So you're telling me you had _nothing_ to do with the cellophane covered toilet seat?" he asked as he made his way ever so slowly towards her, making her cower over to the corner of the couch, she scoffed into the mug, little sprays of coffee falling over the edge.

She coughed, trying to cover up the fit of laughter that desperately needed to be released, she looked at him and smiled, he did not look amused, "Come on, you have to admit it was a little funny?"

"I wasbare foot!" he cried, Pepper looked at him for a second more before erupting into giggles that soon became a belly filled laugh. It made her chest and stomach hurt but the look on his face was so totally worth it, tears started to stream down her cheeks, and Tony, realising she wasn't about to stop soon as she clutched her stomach, raised his head high and stormed out of the room.

Pepper couldn't help but laugh harder, after all those years of putting up with all his eccentricities, perversions and pranks, she finally gotten her own back, yes he would probably give her the silent treatment for a few days, but she was expecting that.

_Man,_ revenge was _sweet._

_FIN._

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_**A/N: It's a bit sad that this is going to be the last chapter...Thank you all for reading and for all of your wonderful reviews...**_


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